Being diagnosed with lung cancer can be a deeply distressing event for you and those closest to you. It may feel as though life has been turned upside down as the word cancer is often linked with fears about treatment in a hospital and a shortened future and the possibility of dying. Fear of the unknown and uncertainty about the future can be very stressful.

 

The news of lung cancer may arrive as a bolt out of the blue, or you may have had suspicions about symptoms for quite a while. Even so, the news can be devastating and can cause a range of emotions, which may come to the surface at different times in the days, weeks and months following your diagnosis. Such emotions may include a period of numbness, disbelief, shock, extreme sadness, anger, guilt, feelings of helplessness and fear. Many people find themselves looking for reasons and asking "why me?". For others, a diagnosis of lung cancer may mean that life will never seem or be the same again. In the early stages following your diagnosis, it is not unusual to feel as though you can think of little else. You may also find that your sleep is disturbed and
that you are very anxious about the future.

 

Feelings such as those described above are very common when faced with a crisis. They are not signs of being unable to cope. It is entirely normal to experience a range of strong and sometimes, uncontrollable emotions after a diagnosis. There is no right or wrong way to feel but you shouldn't add to your distress by feeling guilty about how you feel or about the diagnosis. You may find that some situations trigger more anxiety, for example, attending hospital appointments, reading about lung cancer in the
newspaper or watching a programme on television.

 

Future treatments and tests may also increase your anxiety. Finally, some people report that these feelings can be at their worst at particular times of the day or night. Understanding that there is a pattern to your feelings can be the first step in starting to manage them better. Throughout your diagnosis, treatment and afterwards, try to accept that these reactions are normal. If you feel you need to, allow yourself time to cry. This can often be a helpful way of dealing with bottled up emotions. Learning a relaxation technique can also be very helpful as it can help you switch off your mind from worries and also relax your body.

 

In the days and weeks following diagnosis, as you start to come to terms with the news, it is usual for these reactions to start to settle, although this varies from person to person. It is important that you should not be afraid to discuss your feelings and ask for support if you feel you need it. In some cases, people try to hide their emotions for fear of affecting others. However, keeping emotions bottled up often allow things to seem much worse. At first, some people find that it is difficult to talk and need some time to sort things out in their own minds. Being able to talk openly about your thoughts and feelings with others such as family, friends, your doctor or nurse, can be very helpful. Also getting support with practical tasks, such as housework and shopping, may also be useful in reducing some of the pressure you may be feeling.

 

If your feelings and worries are interfering a lot with your day to day life and you are finding it difficult to cope, it may be worthwhile contacting your doctor or nurse. There are many professionals who can help with any problems you may be experiencing. Having negative thoughts and beliefs about your health can be difficult and in some cases, may lead to depression, anxiety and a loss of self-confidence. One way of dealing with this is to keep yourself involved in activities you enjoy and give you a sense of well being. You may find that your imagination can run riot and things start to get blown out of proportion. It is important to try and focus your mind on things which are definite rather than on the "what ifs". Some people who have been diagnosed with lung cancer say that it can be helpful to maintain a positive, hopeful attitude. If possible, try to keep a sense of humour, which can be helpful if faced with difficult new situations.

“Once you get a diagnosis, normal isn’t normal anymore, priorities just shift."

 

If you have children it may seem natural to try and protect them from the news. Even if they have not been told about the diagnosis, it is not unusual for children to know from the reactions of others that something is wrong. Occasionally when children are not included in the diagnosis in some way, their imaginations can take over.

If you have young children and decide to tell them about your diagnosis and treatment, it is best to try to avoid too much medical
jargon and provide information at a level that they will understand. It is surprising how well some children do cope with the news.
However, others may need some time to come to terms with things. It can be helpful to explain to children that it is normal for them to experience some strong emotions and you may notice some changes in their behaviour. It is important for them to discuss any worries with you openly. Sometimes taking them to hospital visits and introducing them to staff can help reduce some of their fears.

There are a number of very useful books, which have been written specifically for children on the subject of illness in the family. A list of reading material for children is available from Cancerbackup. If you have concerns about changes in a child's behaviour or emotional state, it may be useful to discuss it with your GP.

“When I was diagnosed my daughter said, ‘Why you Mum?’ I said , why not me? It’s happened, now let’s get on with it.”